


Scrub Life

by imsorryjesus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Levi complaining, M/M, Slow Burn, That's it, fight me, inaccurate depiction of hospital practices, seriously I watched like three seasons of grey's anatomy and most of house
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:23:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsorryjesus/pseuds/imsorryjesus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angry heart surgeon Levi gets roped into doing things he hates for Microbiology researcher Hange. Erwin is Hange's knight in the hospital budget committee, and takes an interest in Levi after observing him actually caring about another human being.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Can Bleed on Me

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for having so much fun with this, anyway here's wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Let It Bleed (The Rolling Stones)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS5NQW8QGGw)

            Levi didn't get down to Hange's office until Thursday. He'd meant to see her as early as Tuesday afternoon, but two emergency surgeries in short order and one on schedule had wrung the life out of him, and what little spare time he had went to showering and passing out on a break room cot. As soon as Nanaba gave him the OK to go home, the only thoughts in his head were variations on his bed being Shangri-La. However, a solid fourteen hours of sleep later, the nagging feeling in the back of his head turned into sudden, guilty clarity. So, when he stepped through the hospital doors on Thursday morning, he veered left for the basement labs, a cup of coffee in each hand.

  
            Research Laboratory Six was deserted when he shouldered his way in. Levi eyed the clean tables and empty coat hangers as he passed through. Somehow he was always surprised the place wasn't a total pigsty. The cleaners were mainly responsible for that, sure, but Moblit and the others (names he hadn't bothered to remember) kept it reasonably tidy in their own right. The head research fellow's office was a different story, of course. He opened the door, paused to allow enough time for papers to fall (they did), then slipped inside.

  
            It took him a good twenty seconds to find Hange in the chaos. The glint of light off her glasses clued him in - she had her chair pushed up against the wall her legs draped over a filing cabinet drawer. She didn't wake when he shut the door loudly, or plunked his bag down on the desk. He grimaced and resigned himself to traversing her hand-built hellscape. "Shit fucking everywhere," he grumbled to himself as he waded through, "you have five goddamn filing cabinets, why don't you use them, Christ..." His bitching didn't wake her, either, but he kept it up as he poked her hard in the forehead. Twice. Three times, then she came to, blinking at the ceiling before she focused on him. Her eyes looked like they belonged on a war veteran. "What time is it?", she croaked, sandy-voiced. Levi made his best exasperated face. "Quarter past nine."

  
            "...What day is it?"

  
            "Thursday, shithead."

  
            "Oh." Holding her coffee in front of her face seemed to bring her more smoothly back to reality. She straightened up in her chair, wincing, and smiled forlornly up at him as she took it. "Thanks. God, I was having the worst dream. Where have you been?"

  
            Levi searched for the other chair as he spoke, eventually locating it under a stack of journals. "We had two separate emergencies on Tuesday. Of course I was the only one here. Yesterday was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill valve replacement, but the kid started seizing in the middle of it. So that took another two hours, figuring out what the problem was." He sighed. "So, you weren't exactly the first thing on my mind."

  
            Hange rolled back to her desk and pouted across it at him. "Unacceptable." Her eyes betrayed her good humor, despite how tired she looked. Levi managed a small smile, helped by the coffee, and said, "You look like a homeless person. More than usual, I mean. Should I assume it went poorly?" He felt a twinge of sympathy as her body immediately slumped; although her smile stayed in place, the disappointment behind it was obvious. "Of course it did," she answered, resting her chin in her hands. "Turned me down barely halfway through my spiel. At this point they're just listening to my proposals so they can crack jokes about me when I leave."

  
            Levi bristled, able to picture the committee all too well. "Fuck them. They'd piss themselves if they saw what crazy really looked like."

  
            Hange rolled her eyes. "I _am_ crazy. The problem is that it's interfering with my work." She sighed and looked down at the paperwork scattered in front of her. "At this point I'd be better off finding a university job, far enough away that my reputation doesn't precede me."

  
            "Shut up. That's not your reputation, that's just them picking scapegoats like they always do."

  
            Four years on, and Hange still didn't point out his knee-jerk vitriol towards any mention of her leaving. Her smile did get a little more sincere, though. "Maybe. It's not like this department is churning out innovation. At least cardio always has surgeries to keep it relevant. We're primarily research-based - if we aren't, you know, _researching_ , we can't do much else."

  
            Levi regarded her for a moment, draining the last of his coffee. "You really believe in this project, yeah?", he said finally. She nodded right away, her trademark earnestness bubbling up past her exhaustion. "Absolutely. It could bridge a significant gap in established microbiology. I just need the funds to put my team on it."

  
            "Okay, don't run the spiel on me, Jesus. If you're convinced, I'm convinced." He folded his arms over his chest. "If you can get them to hear you out again, I'll testify for you."

  
            "What?"

  
            "I know, it's a fucking long shot. But I've got some dick to swing around here. No surgical complications since I got here, plenty of referrals from the cardio people at Trost and Maria Memorial, et cetera. And _I_ have a reputation for not putting up with any bullshit, so if I'm vouching for you, you have to have _some_ credibility."

  
            She stared at him for a long minute. Then she broke out in a grin that made her look fresh as an intern. Her chair nearly toppled backwards as she sprang up, and Levi jolted backward reflexively. "You just might have something there, you pint-sized genius, you!", she exclaimed, yanking her coffee out if reach before he could pelt it at her. He settled for chucking his empty cup, which bounced harmlessly off her forehead as she surged back towards him. " _And_ \- now that you mention it, I just thought of someone that can swing even _more_ dick for me." Her eyes glinted in a way that often sent her subordinates scrambling for cover. Levi just frowned. "Is that another height crack, four-eyes?"

  
            "No! Yes, it is," she corrected, but sped along regardless. "It's nearly the end of the month, which means-"

  
_Oh, no-_

  
            "-Erwin's back from his vacation soon!"

  
            His glower returned so fast that a little thunderclap almost sounded, but Hange didn't notice, already tossing detritus aside to find her tablet. "Man, how could I forget?! He'll bowl that prick Dok over in a heartbeat! And God knows how many other admins owe him favors. I don't know what I was thinking, not just waiting for him to get back-" She whirled back around, took in his frosty expression, and screeched to a halt. "What?"

  
            "You remember what happened last time I had to hold hands with Smith?"

  
            "Oh, don't be petty-"

  
            " _Clinic hours_ ," he interrupted, voice icy. "He could have gotten that asshole donor to back off just by dropping his pants, but instead he puts _me_ in the _clinic_."

  
            Hange failed to hold back her smirk. "And it worked spectacularly. You hear anyone making those complaints anymore, after he set you and Bozado loose on a bunch of helpless commoners?"

  
            "He is the _devil_. Bullshit bargains and all."

  
            "Unfair," she singsonged, already typing her email. "You just don't know him like I do. This hospital would be running on online consultations and gift shop sales without him. He's ruthless because he _cares_."

  
            "Well, if he's gonna genie your problems away, what do you need me for?", he grumbled. Smith's face was already slapped on the forefront of his brain like a sticker. _Only Satan could have hair that perfect all the fucking time._

  
            "I need you because the budget committee is used to being charmed," Hange insisted. "He's good, but he'll only get so far, especially since we're friends. You're going to back me up with logic. And like you said, I'll get some serious street cred for you not hating me."

  
            "That might change very shortly."

  
            "As long as I get my testimonial first," she said cheerfully, just as his pager beeped. "Ooh, duty calls. Don't kill anyone, yeah?" He scowled and got to his feet, slinging his bag back over his shoulder. "When have I ever?"

  
            "I meant, like, Eld or Petra. Or any cute little service dogs that get in your way-"

  
            "I'm coming back later and murdering you." He shot her a middle finger on his way out for good measure. Her laughter carried down the hall behind him.  
  
-  
  
            It wasn't just the clinic incident, he griped to himself later. He and Smith had only met a handful of times, but on each occasion, he got the distinct feeling he was being played. For what, he couldn't always figure out - that was probably the bit that fired him up the most. _Thinks he fucking runs this place. What is this, the army? All he does is point where the money goes._ It certainly didn't help that Hange fawned over him, either, thought he refused to admit that part. _Stupid nine-foot-tall-_

  
            "Doctor Ackerman?"

  
            "What?", he growled, head whipping around. His favorite anesthesiologist visibly leaned backward. He sighed, resisting the urge to rub his eyes with freshly-scrubbed gloves. "Sorry. What?"

  
            "Just, uh-" Petra paused, then said, "Are you alright?"

  
            "Fantastic."

  
            Her eyes were sickeningly full of concern. "You seem a little...upset."

  
            _And to top it all off, he's giving me fucking agita._ "I've done three surgeries in two days," he answered. "You understand I might be a little frazzled by number four."  
            "Okay," she said, though he could hear her mouth twisting in doubt under her mask. "Here-" he flinched a little as she reached for him, but she just tucked a loose bit of hair under his cap. He took a steady breath and gave her a look that he hoped was calm. "Thanks. See you in a minute."

  
            The OR was comfortable. Rico, cardio's attending, was happy to give him free reign, and the orange of the iodine looked to him like a blank canvas.  _Cutting into people's hearts is more comfortable than my situation,_ he thought with a grimace, taking his place under the washed-out lights. _This is why smart people don't offer to do their friends favors._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect regular updates on this, I'm basically writing it on my phone whenever I can't sleep. I do have about four parts already down though. c: Inspired by [College Has No Class](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1322620/chapters/2752504) which seems to be abandoned, but holy shit it made me cry laughing in public so there's that.
> 
> I only glanced at this to proof it so feel free to point out any text errors. Most likely I slipped into present tense somewhere because all I read in this fandom is present-tense porn. If technical corrections need to be made please DM me, I have all kinds of med student friends but I'll eat my own tongue before I ask them about this. 8D You should look up whatever lyrics I lazily use for chapter titles because I will always try to reference quality music and I love forcing my taste on everyone.
> 
> I can't believe I called this scrub life WHY DIDN'T ANYONE STOP ME


	2. Come On, Baby, Let's Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Working For The Weekend (Loverboy)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc)

_R U busy???_  
  
_No._  
  
            Most of the other residents had filtered out of the conference room as soon as their scheduling meeting was over, but those still left jumped as the chorus of Maneater started blaring in Levi's pocket. Nanaba glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me that doesn't play every time I call you."  
  
            Levi managed to quell the heat in his face as he dug his phone out. "Of course not, ma'am, that would be disrespectful. Hange?", he answered, and watched the chief of surgery grin as his friend immediately started chattering. "No, the FBI. Yeah, dummy. Come up to the budget offices!"  
  
            "Why?", he asked, already sure of the answer. It still helped to pretend he had a chance.  
  
            "Erwin got me a meeting today!"  
  
            The announcement completely threw him off. "Wha-how?", he answered incredulously. "Why didn't he talk to us first?"  
  
            "He more or less said the same thing you did. He trusts me." He could hear her smiling through the phone. "And he trusts your recommendation, so go you. You won't have to do much more talking besides giving me a glowing review."  
  
            Against his more mature judgement, he considered hanging up. "I was planning to be drunk when we did this."  
  
            "Too bad. He got coffee for us, though. None of that Starbucks shit, either."  
  
            _Son of a bitch._ "I'll be up in a few," he grumbled, and hung up before she could say anything snide.  
  
            He made sure to take his time in the locker room, and left his coat hanging up with a muttered 'fuck your rules'. Once in the elevator he realized nobody gave a shit if he wore his coat to a meeting, and forced himself to take a deep breath. _Stop being ridiculous. She needs help, and you're not going to blow it._ Speaking in front of the budget committee usually wasn't his responsibility, and the thought of it made his skin itch, but he pushed his nerves aside. Coffee would help, like always. And aside from this little firing squad, the scheduling meeting had determined he was free until Friday. _No worries,_ he insisted as the elevator rumbled to the eleventh floor. _Just keep cool for twenty minutes and you can get hammered for three days straight._ It sounded like a thought straight from his twenties, but last week had been enough of a shit-show that he no longer cared to judge himself.  
  
            Hange met him halfway down the hall, freshly-showered and positively buzzing. "Meeting starts at one-thirty," she announced, practically dragging him the rest of the way. Levi dug his heels into the carpet to slow her down. "How the fuck did he get this so quickly?"  
  
            "You said it yourself: he's a genie." She wiggled her fingers in a pantomime of mysticism. "Anyway, do you know what you're gonna say?"  
  
            "More or less. How much caffeine is in your system right now?"  
  
            "Oh, I don't know. I stopped keeping track around three this morning."  
  
            "I'm having you over this weekend," he said dryly. "I'm going to teach you to sleep properly." She grinned, then made a mock-abashed face. "Doctor Ackerman, how untoward! Whatever will people say?" He was still trying to come up with a retort when she nearly ran them both into Erwin. Levi stopped dead, and she teetered on her toes before saluting cheerfully. "Alright, fearless leader, the team is assembled!"  
  
            "I see," Erwin conceded. His eyes fell on Levi immediately, and goddamn if Levi didn't stare back. He'd changed his hair (not that it meant it was any less immaculate), and it looked like he'd been dressed by Leyendecker. Except for that bolo tie. _Who the fuck wears those outside of Arizona?_ His eyes lost their edge after a brief moment. "I hope you've been well since we last spoke, Doctor Ackerman." It sounded innocent enough, and his smile was relaxed. "Fine," Levi answered warily. _Been planning to set the clinic on fire_ didn't make it out of his head. Smith could probably read it in his face anyway, but he only nodded and held out a steaming cup. "Zoë recommended I give you this before we begin."  
  
_Nobody in this fucking_ state _calls her by her first name._ "Thanks," he said stiffly, and immediately took a massive drink, regardless of the temperature. "So, how's this dog and pony show gonna work?"  
  
-  
  
            Hange's ideas were solid, and her presentation competent. If not for her relative inexperience, there would be no way Shadis would be chief of Micro with her around. Her enthusiasm was normally infectious, but hearing it now just made Levi stiffen in his seat. _These assholes,_ he thought, unable to help glancing at their faces. Five of the ten were glassy-eyed, and two were clearly thinking up jokes for each of her lines. Dok and Zackley were focused, at least. Smith was sitting just next to him, and when Levi chanced a look at his face, he was surprised to see him watching Hange with firm attention. _Does he even know what she's talking about?_ He sure looked like it. Levi felt some of his irritation from the last week lift. _At least he's making an effort._ More than that, really - almost every doctor at the hospital cracked jokes about her being a mad scientist (at best), and the administration hadn't wasted the opportunity to stash her in the basement once Micro started to lag. Smith would certainly be getting a lot of shit for their friendship. _Unless he ribs her at his fancy dinner parties with the rest of them,_ he thought, but couldn't bring himself to believe it.  
  
            He didn't realize she had finished until she plopped into the chair next to him. He blinked and refocused just in time to hear Smith beginning his introduction. "I understand it may seem a little unorthodox to have Doctor Ackerman here," he admitted. His voice was smoother than Levi had ever heard it. "But, as I'm sure many of you know, he has a very no-nonsense sense of things. Both Nile and I believe he can give us an accurate judgement of Doctor Hange's proposal."  
  
_Dok is in on this?_ He glanced at Hange, who shot him a _what-the-fuck_ look under her cheery smile. He reached under the table to squeeze her hand and found it shaking in her lap.  
  
            "Doctor Ackerman?"  
  
            _Shit._  
  
            If there was anything he prided himself on, it was his autopilot. He leaned forward, folding his arms on the table, and spoke like he'd rehearsed the thing a hundred times. "I may not be trained in microbiology, but I have known Doctor Hange for a long time, and she is without a doubt the most dedicated scientist I have ever met. I'm willing to bet she outstrips every one of her colleagues by a mile, in terms of both investigative skills and enthusiasm for breaking new ground. You've seen that, of course - she's been published any number of times, both during and before her time here. The only reason our Microbiology department is performing below what it used to is a lack of resources." He shrugged, making eye contact for as long as he could before glancing out the window. "Just because this proposal doesn't contain buzzwords doesn't mean it's not important or worthwhile. I have no doubt about her ability to see it through."  
  
            For a few seconds, a mouse could have sneezed and they all would have heard it. Zackley finally shifted and broke the silence. "Thank you, Doctor Ackerman. Erwin, you had some closing remarks?"  
  
            Levi didn't hear those, either. He dimly registered that Smith's voice sounded like goddamn bourbon, but wherever that monologue had come from, he felt completely drained when it ended. A few minutes passed and he heard the committee chair tell them the proposal would be reviewed over the next week. Then he stood, and a large, firm hand on his back steered him out of the conference room.  
  
            They rounded the corner back to the main hall of the floor. Levi turned back to them and started to say, "I hate public speaking-" before Hange kissed him full on the mouth. The taste of black coffee was much less appealing on someone else's lips. When she finally let go of him, he only managed a bewildered and offended "Ow?!".  
  
            "I should MARRY you, you asshole-"  
  
            Smith managed to quiet her down and keep Levi from punching her. He was smiling too, though. "This just might work out," he said, sounding thoroughly pleased. "You both did very well." Levi shrugged, turning his eyes away. Hange poked Erwin's chest, still grinning, and said, "Don't 'you both' me, you dork. I asked you for help because I knew you could seduce everyone in there. And since when was Dok on my side? Now I feel bad for making fun of his soul patch so much."  
  
            "I don't think that's the term."  
  
            "Oh, excuse me, flavor saver."  
  
            "Okay, I need to get going," Levi interrupted flatly. The other two blinked at him, then Smith nodded graciously. "Of course. Thank you again." Levi shrugged and affected his best sarcasm. "Anything for my pal."  
  
            "Can I kiss you again?"  
  
            "Do you value your teeth?"  
  
-  
  
            Of course, by the end of the day Hange had convinced him to go out. Snow was falling in a gentle flurry as they made their way to their usual spot. It settled in new white drifts over the sludgy fall from yesterday. Levi hated winter more than most things, but sitting in a sleek uptown bar with a few whiskeys in his system made it almost tolerable. Hange was rosy from the booze within half an hour. They didn't talk much at first, but once their heads clouded a bit, Levi found it much easier to respond to her jokes cordially. She was easy to understand, and he liked that. Loud and tactless, sure, but it came from a fearlessness about life that he envied. On the other hand, here he sat, cagey about taking his scarf from around his mouth in a room full of strangers. _You befriend the people you're not, indeed._  
  
            " _So._ " Hange eyed him over her third martini. "That anesthesiologist."  
  
            "Hmm?" He really should have shut her down, but it felt like this conversation was supposed to follow some kind of script. He nursed his glass instead.  
  
            "Petra. How's she getting on?"  
  
            "How should I know?"  
  
            "Because you ask for her every time you cut someone open. You must have _some_ time for small talk."  
  
            "Actually," he retorted, "the whole thing about surgery is it's kind of something you have to focus on." His mouth didn't quite get the memo to stop, though, so he added, "I like her. Her work, I mean. She's good at her job. Attentive."  
  
            "And she doesn't ask too many annoying questions," Hange prompted, smirking. Levi rolled his eyes. "Yeah, unlike someone I know." The brunette laughed aloud, then tipped back the end of her drink. "You can spit fire at me all you want - your little moment this afternoon was all I needed. You have a heart, shorty, and you need to use it before it gives out. More importantly, you have a dick-"  
  
            "Stop right there," he interrupted. "I can't turn this around on you. It's not fair." She shrugged, still grinning, and got up for another drink. "What can I say? I'm above the influence. Lead me not into temptation."  
  
            He asked her about her projects next, mainly to get her talking about something besides him. She dove into her plans with gusto, and he was drunk enough to let her run with it for a solid ten minutes. The people around them were mostly lawyers and businessmen who spoke in quiet tones about menial things. No rowdy college kids, no bikers, no junkies - everybody knew just how much distance to keep. Coupled with the unremarkable jazz filtering in through the speakers, it made him feel safe. He let the atmosphere roll gently over him and listened to his friend's passionate voice, chest warm and head light.  
  
            Until she abruptly stopped talking. He refocused and saw her eyes alight, peering at something over his shoulder. "What?", he prodded, too comfortable to turn around. Hange didn't look back at him, but her mouth widened into a slow grin. "You should go get more drinks. Unless you want to talk to Blondie, because I'm about to call him over."  
  
            He turned around too fast, and his head swam as he followed her look. When he caught sight of Smith, he spun back to her and half-snarled, "Did you invite him here?!" She put her palms up in surrender. "No, no. Hand to God." She looked genuinely surprised, but Levi's drunk brain refused to abandon suspicion. "You don't believe in God," he answered. "Who's the giant with him?"  
  
" _Mike!_ ", she shouted in response, waving an arm in the air. Levi carved an unsteady path to the bar as fast as possible. Even if he tried to get out now, there were too few people here to do it discreetly, and Hange was sure to rope him back into the cocktail party in her currently state...he glared so severely at his own arms on the counter that the bartender sounded nervous when he addressed him. "Sir? Can I get you something?"  
  
            He nearly swore, but bit his tongue, and instead asked, "What'll take you the longest to make?"

            He'd never heard of what the freckled kid suggested, but he asked for two without pause, and pulled out his phone in resignation. A text from Gunther was the first thing he saw, following up on the valve replacement patient. Then one from Petra, a few hours past - _I heard from Oluo you had a meeting with the dragons today, what for? Did it go ok?_ It took a few passes for him to get an answer without any typos. _Tell him to stop stalking me. Was to help Hange. Micro needs $._ He fumbled for the Send button, then glanced over the bar - his order appeared to be on step two of six. _At this rate, I may only need to make small talk for two hours._  
  
            "Good evening, Doctor Ackerman."  
  
            He didn't quite stop himself that time. "Motherf-" When he whipped his head around Erwin was leaning comfortably to his right, smiling like he'd caught Levi singing in the shower. "Mister Smith," Levi ground out. "What a surprise. Could you smell my blood on your way by?" Erwin only looked more amused. "I live in the area, actually. Seems we both needed to relax after that presentation today." His coat was draped over his arm and his shirtsleeves were rolled up, baring wide, sturdy forearms. Levi looked him over somewhat dazedly, then turned around, leaning his elbows on the bar. "More like I'm off tomorrow, so I have no excuse not to get trashed." He gestured at Hange and Smith's companion with a tip of his head. "Who's the other blond monster?"  
  
            Erwin chuckled at that. "I'm surprised Zoë hasn't introduced you before. His name is Mike Zacharias. They grew up in the same town - I met her through him. He works in physical therapy at the hospital."  
  
            "Oh." The big man was nodding placidly at Hange as she talked, brushing snow out of his beard. "Looks too nice for me," Levi shrugged. "She was probably afraid I'd corrupt him." His brain snagged on one bit of oddness, and he added, "Why do you hang out with one of the therapy guys?"  
  
            "Why wouldn't I?"  
  
            The tone to his response made Levi feel inexplicably foolish. "I don't know," he answered, a touch defensive. "I just don't ever see the admins hanging out with us plebeians." Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but Smith's eyes seemed to shift for a moment. He sounded as calm as ever when he answered, though, and his pleasant expression didn't shift. "I haven't seen it in writing anywhere that we can't. We went to college together, actually."  
  
            The freckled kid came up with his drinks just then. Levi turned back for them and was fishing for his wallet when Erwin smoothly laid a few bills on the counter. "On me," he smiled. "And a dark and stormy, please." The money changed hands before Levi could object. He blinked at Erwin for a few seconds, probably looking quite prickly, but the blond didn't seem to care. "Consider it thanks for your testimonial today," he said. "I don't doubt it may have tipped the scale for some of the more sentimental committee members." Levi squinted, as much for effect as to steady his vision, and muttered, "I didn't know sentimentality was in their programming."  
  
            They spent the rest of the wait in silence. Levi tasted his drink and immediately discovered it was shit, but was thankfully just drunk enough not to care. Just before they made their way back, though, Erwin suddenly spoke up. "Can I ask you something, Doctor Ackerman?"  
  
            "Jesus, if you're gonna keep talking to me, just call me Levi. Save everyone time."  
  
            "Alright. Levi." He looked way too pleased at getting permission. "You can call me Erwin, if you like."  
  
            "Smith is less syllables."  
  
            "If I may - why did you decide to become a heart surgeon?"  
  
            Levi's instinctive reaction was to furrow his brow nearly into his nose. "What kind of loaded entrance-exam question is that?"  
  
            Erwin chuckled. "Sorry. I'm just curious. You and Zoë seem very close, and I'm sure you could have specialized in microbiology with no problem."  
  
            "So? Why did you decide to play with wads of cash when your friend there was doing physical therapy?"  
  
            "Mmm. I see what you mean." Erwin took a careful sip of his drink, then said, "I suppose we wanted to contribute in different ways. Is that it?"  
  
            "I don't know. Sure." He twisted his tongue around in his mouth, trying to form the answer. "She makes progress every few months, right? The shit she's done all comes out of her own head. It helps people, yeah, but she's nearly killed herself plenty of times trying to puzzle through untested problems. I just cut people open. Do what I'm told, don't have to blaze trails, and I still keep people alive just fine. That is the goal of all of this, anyway. As long as it saves lives, I'm better at following the formula."  
  
            He wasn't sure where it came from, but it felt like the truth. When he stopped, Erwin was looking at him with a completely unreadable expression. Levi was just starting to get embarrassed when he spoke up. "That's very interesting, Levi. Thank you for telling me."  
  
            _Interesting?_ Baffled by his response, Levi just frowned, but Smith was already moving on. "Shall we get back? I'd like to introduce you."  
  
-  
  
            As it turned out, Mike was near Bob Ross levels of relaxing. Hange apologized profusely for never bringing him up, but the tall man just shook Levi's hand and waited to be spoken to, seemingly much more comfortable with staying silent. When Levi finally managed to drag Hange away, the other two men bid them farewell in good spirits. It took less than two minutes to hail a cab outside, and as he crammed her in the back, Levi glanced back through the bar windows. He could see the two seated at a table; as he watched, Mike reached out and curled his palm around Erwin's right arm.  
  
            He thought about his question most of the way home, until intoxication wiped active thought from his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agaaaaain don't expect regular updaaaates because I suuuuuuck
> 
> Also again I'd prefer comments about grammatical errors and messages about factual inaccuracy, thanks.


	3. Another Chip in My Tooth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Citizen King brought my early teens back so hard just now. Also this bit finally gets explicit for a sec at the end, just fyi. (Edited on 9/4 to keep with a theme.)
> 
> Title from [Better Days (Citizen King)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87nJoBSfQ_Q)

            On Friday morning, Levi took his trash down to the dumpsters in the alley. The clatter of cans in the bin scared one of the stray cats hiding behind it, who in turn screeched and scared the shit out of him. When he got a look in the little space between the bin and the wall, he counted four nursing kittens, two dead some ways away, and the mother looking mad as fire at him. He took the stairs back up two at a time, called in late, and fetched a box.  
  
            Twenty minutes and only a few scratches later, he took the box to the vet. The receptionist clicked her tongue as he gave her the summary. "It can't be helped, unfortunately. You did good saving so many." She peeked through the opening for the handle and got a violent noise for her trouble. "Got any ideas for a name? I have to put something down."  
  
            "I've been calling her Red."  
  
            "Why's that?"  
  
            "She's red."  
  
            The girl was very happy to have him on his way.  
  
-  
  
            It was pouring rain by the time he got in. Hange had called him four times while he was navigating the freeway, and he headed down to her office as soon as he had his scrubs and coat on. The lab was much busier than the last time he'd come down. Most of her team had seen him before, and they gave him an appropriately wide berth. One of her residents, Berner, had his face pressed to a microscope, but he looked up sharply when Levi called his name. "Oh, hi, Doctor Ackerman."  
  
            "Where's your boss?", he answered brusquely. Her office was dark, the door closed. "She said to point you to level eleven," Moblit answered, sharp as always. "She went up about an hour ago."  
  
            "Thanks. Clean that shithole of an office while she's gone." He didn't wait to see if anyone laughed. The hospital was as busy as ever, and he crammed himself into a mostly-full elevator, inwardly wishing he'd brought some Purell. _He better have some coffee ready._ He covered his yawn and debated sending Oluo out for some when he got back down. As seriously as the guy claimed to take his work, he obviously loved any chance he got for a break. _Can't blame him, they way they've got us running around._  
  
            The mental monologue kept up as he shuffled off the elevator and made his way down the hall. A few doors passed before he realized he didn't know which office was Smith's. Luckily, Hange's voice carried well enough to bring him to the very end. The door was ajar, and she smiled broadly as he entered. " _Finally!_ I thought I was gonna grow a beard before you showed up."  
  
            "Sorry," he answered, eyeing the room. It was relatively plain - two armchairs in front of a desk, three bookshelves full to the brim, and a potted plant quietly suffering in the corner. "Found some kittens behind my building. Had to take them to the vet." The clutter on the desk made him scoff inwardly. Erwin looked just a touch surprised at his explanation, but wisely refrained from commenting. _Yeah,_ Levi thought snidely as he took a seat, _am I blowing your mind right now, Blondie?_ "What'd I miss?"  
  
            Hange jumped in immediately, leaning towards him over the arm of her chair. "They're writing a check to Micro!"  
  
            He couldn't help a little smile at her. "About time. Congratulations, nerd."  
  
            "With some conditions. He wouldn't tell me until you got here."  
  
            "Fu-for God's sake." He glared at Smith, who had steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. The tall man shrugged. "They're remarkably lenient, considering the amount we allocated. First, they expressed concern about the amount of donations we've been getting over the past year. They would like both of you to attend the next two fundraising events and speak on behalf of your departments - cardiology, in your case, Doctor Ackerman."  
  
            His sour face was outdone by Hange's groan. "You're _kidding_ me. I nearly passed out the other day, and that was in front of _ten_  people." She folded her arms and squinted. "And I'll have to wear a _suit_."  
  
            Erwin blinked. "Uh-"  
  
            "Don't even say it," Levi warned. The blond stopped remarkably quickly. "Well, anyway, those will be in February and April. Their other condition is a bit more immediate." He paused again, and Levi narrowed his eyes. _Is he hesitating?_ He couldn't think of a single thing that would make Erwin Smith hesitate. _Do they want our tongues or something?_ The brunette was practically on the edge of her seat now, fingers tapping on her jeans. "What?"  
  
            "There are a remarkably high number of interns coming in this year."  
  
            In the six-plus years they'd known each other, Levi consistently beat Hange in every test of speed they tried. In that regard, he had no idea how she got to the door first. She closed it with a snap and planted herself like an X in front of it, looking at Levi (two inches in front of her) with a nervous grin. "Hold on a second-"  
  
            " _No._ "  
  
            "Microbiology will need a few extra hands with these new projects you want to undertake, Doctor Hange."  
  
            "I'd love some new interns!"  
  
            " _NO._ "  
  
            "There are sixteen who have already declared their intent to specialize in cardiology. That's far too many for Doctor Bozado, Doctor Schultz, and Doctor Jinn to manage alone. And before you ask about Doctor Brzenska, she has privelege as your attending."  
  
            "Come on, buddy," Hange grinned. Her eyes betrayed her concern over what he was willing to do to leave the room. "What's so bad about having a couple of snot-nosed kids to order around? They're practically slaves!"  
  
            "I _told_ you this would happen, shit-for-brains-"  
  
            "Levi," Erwin said firmly. The authority in his voice pulled Levi's focus without any hope of resisting. His expression read murder, but it didn't put Smith off for a second. "This is the most lax agreement I could get. If you refuse, the rest of the committee will ask why. If I tell them it's because of your ego, they will renege on the bargain simply for a laugh."  
  
            "It's not my _ego_ -"  
  
            "You have never taken on interns at this hospital. They don't care what happened before you came here."  
  
            He opened his mouth, then stopped. His frown became confused, rather than venomous. "How do _you_ know what happened before I came here?"  
  
            Smith stared at him for a few seconds too long. Then he said, "You can't refuse this offer. You've gone too far already. And were I Doctor Hange, I would not be very happy if you pulled this out from under me."  
  
            Levi slowly looked back at Hange. She looked caught offguard by the insinuation, but he could see the truth of it plainly in her face.  
  
            A better person would have apologized for making her worry. He just growled, "I take three. I get first pick. And if _any_ of them start complaining, nobody stops me from putting them on deep-clean duty. _Including your office_ , four-eyes."  
  
            "Thank y-"  
  
            "Move, or anything outside the doorframe is gonna get unattached from what's inside."  
  
            He refused to look at Smith again. His command still hadn't let go of Levi's bones when he returned to his floor. _Levi_ boomed in his head, coupled with the coldest eyes he'd ever seen.  
  
-  
  
            Luckily for the other surgeons, he was too hungry to rage-clean the break room. Eld was the first to enter after he took root in the corner. He took one look at Levi, holding a sandwich in a death-grip, and shook his head. "Nope. I don't want to know." The rest had similar reactions as they trickled in for lunch. Oluo tried to fraternize, but promptly took to the other side of the room when Levi commented on the uselessness of his tongue. His corner stayed empty for a good twenty minutes; even his phone was silent, as Hange wasn't quite stupid enough to try apologizing just yet. Eventually, however, a familiar ginger head bobbed over. Petra looked worried - typical for her interactions with him - and sat down carefully on the other side of the table. Her voice was timid - not scared of him, but of the answer she would get. "Did something happen?"  
  
            "Yes." He crammed more of the sandwich methodically into his face. Of all the people in the room, she was the one he least wanted to kill, but his self-control was waning rapidly.  
  
            "...Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
            "Not one fucking bit."  
  
            "Oh." She popped open her salad, still casting careful glances at him. "Well, if you do later..." He said nothing, so she changed the subject, trying to sound more cheerful. "Only one surgery today, huh? Lucky. I've got three. Although I guess my part is a lot more straightforward. Gunther told me..."  
  
_Right. I have to_ work _today._ "Look, Petra," he interrupted, "I will be social with you when we scrub in at three. Right now, anybody in a three-foot radius of me is in mortal danger."  
  
            She blinked, looking hurt. Apparently making it impersonal wasn't going to work. "There are plenty of people in this room who are better for conversation than me," he ground out.  
  
            "Well, yeah, but you were the one I wanted to talk to." She picked at her salad. "Are you sure you don't need to get this off your chest?"  
  
            "...I've been roped into a bargain for Micro."  
  
            "What?" She cocked her head, confused. "That thing with Doctor Hange, you mean?" He nodded, and she asked, "What would Microbiology need from you?"  
  
            "Nothing besides making me miserable. The terms were less than ideal." He reached for his water and swept his hair out of his eyes. "That's as much detail as I'd like to go into, at least until I can bleach this entire place to vent." Petra looked entirely unsatisfied, but said, "Well, at least Micro gets their money, right? I'm sure Doctor Hange is grateful."  
  
            "Shit, she'd better be."  
  
-  
  
            He got trashed on Sunday. Different bar this time, and he went alone - though Hange had sent him a flood of thanks and apologies, he still needed a few days before he saw her face again. The place was significantly louder, and the drinks a lot less fancy. It made thinking about work a lot harder, which was all he really wanted.  
  
            He was no longer seeing straight when a man took the seat next to him and said hello. He was tall (properly tall, not just to Levi), with beautiful rust-colored skin and teasing eyes. Somewhere in their conversation, he mentioned being a cellist. Levi nodded and made an attempt at a joke about cells.  
  
            Some time later - it was hard to measure - Levi was riding the rusty man in a tiny flat downtown. The guy had a musician's fingers, for sure; his dick didn't feel long enough by comparison. Then again, Levi was too wasted to complain. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop his vision from swimming and planted one palm on the wall to steady himself, wrenching his hips forward as fast as he could without making himself dizzy. The stranger groaned a litany in a language he didn't recognize. His hands traced circles on Levi's ass that were probably supposed to be encouraging, but really just interfered with his grounding. Still, the feeling coursing through his nerves was more than enough. His orgasm wrestled the last week's tension out of him, if only for a little while. He shook and gasped, and at some point he sank into oblivion, seeing two fleeting points of blue behind his eyelids.


	4. And I Hate You, One and All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Sam Hall (Johnny Cash)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD5HlFbPrgw)

            Nanaba took the stage in front of the interns, while a crowd of surgery's residents and attendings eyed them from behind her. She didn't have to strain to make herself heard. "Good morning, everybody. On behalf of my colleagues and the people whose lives you'll be saving, welcome to Reiss General Hospital's surgical unit."  
  
            Some of them looked remarkably young. Those in the front seemed more nervous than the others, likely due to the staff's scrutiny. Oluo muttered something to Gunther, and the two of them snickered.  
  
            "The first thing I will tell you is that there is no shame in leaving. People will come and go in this department. It absolutely is not for everyone, just like the others. Do not cling to this work if you don't want to devote your life to it. Likewise, if you find your specialization isn't for you, move along. You need to do your best work here, not just the standard."  
  
            Levi's tongue sat in his mouth like a thirty-pound weight. He shifted from foot to foot, trying to determine how much he could squint to keep light out without looking obviously hungover. There were bruises on his hips - his briefs had been aggravating them all morning.  
  
            "Secondly, I will say that if you think you've had it hard so far, you haven't seen _anything_ yet." She smirked, as did most of the others. The interns paled. "If you're expecting to have a life outside of this hospital anytime soon, kiss that dream goodbye. You are here to become masters of your work, and that means proving you can survive anything we throw at you. So, as they say in one of my favorite films, nut up or shut up."  
  
            The emotion in the crowd was running somewhere between panic and feverish motivation. When the chief clapped her hands, a good third of them jumped. "Alright," she announced, "now we'll divvy you up. I want undecideds there." She ran through the rest of the groups with clinical speed, while the residents watched the mad dash in derisive amusement. The cardio group was the second from the end; Levi felt his stomach churn just looking at them. Eld knocked him on the shoulder, causing another lurch. "You picked a bad day to come in like this," he laughed. "Anyway, what made you take on interns all of a sudden?"  
  
            "Administration." The face that flashed into his head made him grimace. "You get up there next to Rico, before Oluo fucks up her intro." The younger man nodded and nudged his way to the front. Levi fell in behind the others, who had already taken their shots at him for the day. His phone was conspicuously silent; the only text he'd gotten all morning was a 'good luck' from Petra. Hange was probably scared his wrath would return. _Definitely a possibility._  
  
            To her credit, Brzenska gave a pretty good briefing as they shepherded the kids to their station. Levi tuned most of it out to observe from the back. The majority of them were listening attentively; only a few looked to be indulging their arrogance. He couldn't decide which ones irritated him more. One of the tallest was casting smug looks to either side, and a blonde girl near the back seemed to have checked out completely.  
  
            He hadn't seen the black-haired woman in the morning crowd, and the back of her head was hardly interesting. He didn't notice she was lagging towards the back, either; then she turned to look at him. He nearly stopped in surprise, and just managed to keep his voice down when he said, "Mikasa?"  
  
            "Hi, Levi." She had the same lukewarm expression he remembered from ages ago. "Long time no see."  
  
            "Shit, no kidding." She hadn't been more than seven, the last he heard of her. The age gap had been awkward, and his mother wasn't close to her parents anyway, so she'd gone elsewhere when they died. This willowy thing in front of him was a far cry from the little kid he remembered, for sure. He took another gulp of water, then said, "Since when were you in med school?"  
  
            "Since twenty-two." She arched an eyebrow in an expression of sarcasm eerily like his own. "I could ask you the same thing. It looks like you're doing pretty well."  
  
            "Most of the time," he answered, suddenly very conscious of his bloodshot eyes. "Look, I'm getting first pick of you brats. Do you want to shadow me or someone else? No hard feelings, I promise."  
  
            She looked ahead for a moment, mouth pursed. Her answer came hesitant. "I'd like to work with you, but...I need to stay with Eren."  
  
            "Who?"  
  
            "Eren Jaeger." She gestured ahead at a young man leading the charge. "His family adopted me."  
  
            "You'll all be seeing each other plenty," he frowned. "This division thing is mostly just to keep us sane." She said nothing, just looked back at the boy. Levi glanced up at her. "Well, if he's a pain in the ass, I'm not taking him." Her eyes flickered - all he needed to know. Before she could answer, Eld slowed the group, just outside the lockers. He peered over the heads, waving Levi up when he picked him out. Mikasa nodded her goodbye, murmuring, "Either way, it's alright."  
  
            Oluo smirked down at him as he came around. "Maybe we should have them fist-fight for places." His smug expression faltered when Levi answered, "Why would they give a shit? They don't know who we are."  
  
            "I do, Doctor Ackerman, sir!"  
  
            The near-shout came from the front. Levi turned his head slowly, careful not to make himself dizzy. The Jaeger boy was looking at him with ferocious green eyes. _Nope._ "Well, at least you know how to use Google," he acceded. Rico rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Anyway, this is where I leave you. If you have any questions, my office is off the main Cardio room, number 408. Doctor Ackerman called first dibs, so he'll be taking the best, I'm sure." She patted him on the arm as she walked by, waving over her shoulder to the others. "Good luck, guys."  
  
             Levi peered around at the clump of students. None of them looked anywhere near useful.  A voice popped up before he could speak."Excuse me." It was a tall boy this time, with sandy hair and angular features. "But I don't see how you can judge our ability when we haven't even done anything. Shouldn't we be observed first?"  
  
            "Maybe," Gunther nodded. "But the primary reason for this method of shadowing is numbers. There are sixteen of you - you think the four of us have time to babysit, when we've got eight patients a day?" The tall kid looked affronted, but the one next to him nudged him before he could respond. Levi stepped up before they could start chattering in earnest. "More importantly than that, we know a good surgeon from an incompetent shitheel, no matter how hard they try to hide it. You lot are pretty easy to figure out."  
  
            He surveyed the faces for a moment, ignoring the uncomfortable fidgeting. The blonde caught his eye first. He firmly assured himself it wasn't the cold eyes and the big nose. "You. Name."  
  
            "Annie Leonhart, Doctor."  
  
            "Jesus, did you come from the Crusades?" She didn't answer, face still impassive. _Perfect._ "You'll do." The questioning young man was next. "You."  
  
            "Jean Kirstein, Doctor!"  
  
            "Okay, horse-face, relax." Jaeger snorted audibly. Levi's gaze flickered to his cousin, remarkable in a sea of faces. He could read her expression as clear as day: _Not without Eren._  
  
            "You."  
  
            The small girl started. "Hitch, Doctor!"  
  
            "I'll assume that's your last name." He headed for the nurse's station without so much as a word to the other residents, waving his hand behind him. "Let's go, brats." The scuffle behind him was music to his ears.  
  
            The boy, Kirstein, was predictably the first to get in his space. "Can I just say, Doctor Ackerman, it is an honor to work with you. I read loads about your work when I knew I was coming to Reiss-"  
  
            "How touching. You'll be the one getting my coffee, then." He had to hold back his smirk as the kid clammed up immediately. _Walked right into it._ The nurse at the desk handed over the floor chart without a word, and he turned back to the new meat, holding it out in front of him. "First thing you'll be doing is rounds. Lucky for you, we're fairly busy up here, so you'll be trading off pretty much constantly. I assume you know the drill - change sheets and bedpans, restock drips, make nice, et cetera. Making nice is the most important," he said firmly, making eye contact with Leonhart. "Patients generally like to feel like they're in a safe environment, not a meat factory. For the amount of money they're shelling out, they have that right."  
  
            When he glanced up, Smith was leaning on the desk no more than two feet away, watching with an amused expression. Were his nerves not mostly dead, he would have jumped a mile. The kids did startle a little when they follow his glare, and the blond smiled at them. "Good afternoon. When your doctor is done here, I'd like to borrow him for a moment."  
  
            Levi handed the chart back over swiftly. Hopefully the prick would realize the state he was in, preferring a conversation with /him/. "You'll be on rotation by midnight," he concluded curtly. "In the meantime, Doctor Schultz has a procedure at four, so you should head up to the theater and catch that. Or get what little sleep you can. Last chance." Before he bailed, he added for Kirstein's benefit, "I wasn't kidding about that coffee. Black, large, from Stohess across the street. I better see it when I walk in at eight every morning, or I'm gonna make you shave the rest of your head."  
  
            He left Kirstein chewing on his tongue and the other two staring. Smith led him silently down a side hallway, away from the mad scramble of the interns. The quiet immediately made Levi want to crawl off to bed. He didn't bother covering his yawn, and when Smith finally stopped and turned around, he raised an eyebrow. "Busy night?", he asked mildly. Levi stared flatly at him. "How'd you guess."  
  
            "Well, I have to say, I thought one of them would be dead by now."  
  
            "Me too. What do you want?"  
  
            Erwin smiled in a way that made Levi's headache worsen instantly. "To check up on things down here, mainly. I've been to a couple of the other departments as well. We haven't seen this many interns in seven years - it's quite promising, if overwhelming." He leaned against the wall and folded his arms. "I also wanted to know if anyone from administration had spoken to you about Wantanabe yet."  
  
            "Who?"  
  
            "Mmm." He looked aside thoughtfully. "They'll probably call Doctor Nanaba first. David Wantanabe - he's the police commissioner. Maria Memorial is referring him to us for a transplant. They'll want Doctor Brzenska to take first lead, of course, but I assume you'll want second."  
  
            His answer wouldn't surface. "Maybe," he said finally. Erwin's mouth twitched down. "Why the hesitation?"  
  
            Levi hurriedly answered, "There wasn't any. It just comes down to scheduling. Same as every other procedure." _Gunther's long overdue for a big lead, and Oluo's better with long procedures_ rattled around in his head, but for some reason didn't make it out. Erwin looked unconvinced. "Perhaps you should consider it later, after you get some sleep," he prompted gently. Levi scoffed. "Sleep is for the weak. Besides, I've got ducklings now. Have to keep an eye out or they'll get blown away in a strong wind."  
  
            Erwin looked at him silently for a moment. Levi held his haughty expression, but as he looked closer, the blond looked plenty tired himself. The hollows of his face were more pronounced, and the sharp blue of his eyes had lost some of its bite. "You look as bad as I do," Levi added thoughtlessly. "Trouble in the castle?" He'd meant it as mockery, but Erwin didn't seem to catch his tone. He shook his head with a worn smile. "There always is. It seems I devote more of my time to cleaning up messes every year."  
  
            "I don't know what you expect."  
  
            "I don't either, to be honest. Perhaps some attention to human decency rather than scrambling for a profit."  
  
            His response was unexpectedly specific, and Levi caught the frustration flashing in his eyes before they settled again. Seeing an emotion peek through his curtain of bland smiles felt weirdly intimate, and yet not unwelcome. Against every sour feeling in his body, Levi's mouth twitched up. "You're allowed to take a day off. Watch cooking shows or get laid, or something equally mindless."  
  
            Erwin's crooked smile was sincere. "If only. But I was just away for nearly a month, and quite a few of the boards I'm on are already itching to get rid of me. And anyway," he sighed dramatically, "sex on the first date is improper."  
  
_Did he actually just make a joke? A_ good _joke?_ Levi covered his snort with his hand. "Okay, dad. Sounds to me like you're inventing excuses to be a workaholic. Still, if you need any untraceable murders, I'm sure Hange would be more than happy to help."  
  
            "Until I know if we're within earshot of any security cameras, I will not respond to that." The tall man seemed less tense, though. He uncrossed his arms and reached for Levi's shoulder, but stopped himself before Levi could even flinch. "Sorry," he said, correcting himself. "And about the interns - I apologize for pushing you into it so quickly." Levi watched his hand withdraw and cleared his throat. "It was the budget assholes, not you. Well, you're one of them, but it wasn't _just_ you. You get what I mean. You're still on my shit list, though," he added quickly, seeing the blond's pleased expression. Erwin laughed - the sound rumbled in his chest, honest and unhurt. "How can I possibly regain your favor?"  
  
            "Well, Kirstein's my morning coffee slave, but you could top me up with that fancy-ass stuff of yours around two. Or some Xanax, considering what these shrimps are gonna put me through."  
  
            He didn't realize they were bantering until they parted. The revelation was worrying, especially in that it didn't irritate him at all. _I'm going soft,_ he thought, and immediately resolved to make up for it with the brats. Hopefully it would shift him back into balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the fuck do you spell Jean's last name why did I pick him


	5. And I Have No Sense of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, the comments on this are so sweet, thanks friends. <3 I'm also retroactively adding music links for the chapter titles because again, forcing my music taste on everyone is my favorite hobby.
> 
> Title from [Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again (Bob Dylan)](https://vimeo.com/25499686)

            It took Levi a week to flat-out abandon his shadows. Leonhart was the most tolerable by a long shot, simply because she rarely opened her mouth, but it meant he had to pretend to care if she answered his questions or not. Hitch was eager to do well, which led to boasting she couldn't substantiate followed by nervous apologies that shouldn't have been necessary. _Kirstein_ , Jesus Christ. His sharp mind vanished under his arrogance the minute they had to do any legwork. Cleaning duty didn't discourage his whining, it just made him do it when he thought Levi couldn't hear. They watched him every second of every day - because they wanted to learn, and there was no other way they could, he knew that. Regardless of its necessity, the endless scrutiny made him feel like he was being slow-roasted for a banquet, and it ground his nerves down until there was nothing left but powder. On Thursday of the first week, he didn't even look at the elevator when he walked in. If he passed anyone he knew on his beeline to the basement, his tunnel vision blocked them out. The last thing he needed was Petra asking if he was okay.  
  
            He expected silence in the Micro lab first thing in the morning, so when he stepped inside, he immediately thought he had the wrong room. However, Moblit was the first person he picked out, busy taking notes next to an incubator. Levi stared around owlishly, not quite sure how to react. The usual team were scattered at various machines, as well as at least four faces he knew he hadn't seen before. Even Shadis was there, though he was definitely not doing much more than watching over various shoulders. Everyone was talking pleasantly, engrossed in their work.  
  
            " _There_ you are, my dearest Doctor Ackerman!"  
  
            Everyone looked at the source of the shout, then at him. Levi considered hauling off on Hange as she shot up from behind a table and bounded towards him. However, the full-body sheen she was showcasing quickly removed any desire to touch her. He dodged her arm as she reached him and snarled, "You're _disgusting_." She beamed at him, unaffected. "We've had so much to _do_ , it's been great! I don't think I've slept more than three hours this week-"  
  
            _The trials I suffer for you people._ He dragged her back through the lab by the arm. Once she realized his intentions, it was too late; he locked her office door behind him and motored her straight to the bathroom. Her flailing and protests only buffed up his sudden manic need to clean _something_. "Fucking four-eyes, I swear to god, come down here looking for peace and quiet and you have the balls to smell like _this_ , you're lucky nobody threw you out with the trash this morning-"  
  
            "Come on, man! We were on a roll! The new kids are great-"  
  
"Don't say a goddamn WORD about interns right now," he snapped, yanking her lab coat off her shoulders. "You _would_ be having the time of your life down here, after what you got me into. _Strip._ "  
  
            Her pout vanished, replaced by a shit-eating grin. She knew better than to interrupt his hygiene rampage, but still snarked at him as she kicked off her shoes. "So that's what this is about, huh? Ours are little angels. Then again, they're scientists, not surgeons with god complexes." Levi yanked her sweater over her head in response, ignoring her pleas about her glasses. "I give them tasks a _monkey_ could do, and it's like I told them to read Sumerian. Fucking horse-face has to make everything into a pissing contest. And when it's not mine, it's the other fucking thirteen, climbing up my ass trying to get in on surgeries none of them are ready for."  
  
            "Sounds to me like you need something else up your ass - _ow!_ "  
  
            "I'm brushing your teeth too," he warned dourly, retracting his foot. She threw her pants in his face and rubbed her shin, grumbling reproachfully, "Nobody was complaining."  
  
            "Because you're technically their boss, dumbass. You better tell them we were fucking, or they'll start calling me down here to do this every other day."  
  
            Her office shower was pristine from lack of use (since she'd been banned from running experiments in it, anyway). It really only took beating the grease out of her hair to get his blood pressure back to normal. Against his better judgement, he tried to articulate his frustration properly as he scrubbed behind her ears. "It's not like I'm worried about a repeat of last time. But they're driving me nuts all on their own."  
  
            "This water is _scalding-_ "  
  
            "Deal with it. They're watching you all the fucking time, you know? It feels like I can't take a shit without them taking notes on my technique." He leaned out of the range of the shower spray. "Spin. And how long is this supposed to go on? Till they're residents? I'll lose my mind. Not to mention the next group that comes through. Is he expecting me to keep this up?"  
  
            Hange peered at him through the water dripping down her forehead. "Woah, slow down there. You mean Erwin? Because it's really not his call. If anything, it'll come down to Nanaba, and I doubt she'll want to make you suffer any further come the next batch. That is," she added mildly, "unless you decide by then that you like it."  
  
            "Did you not hear anything I just said?", Levi growled. Hange held up a soapy hand in a gesture of appeasement. "I'm not saying you're having fun now. But who knows? Once you spend a little more time with them, they might grow on you. We annoyed the hell out of our residents at first, right?"  
  
            "Speak for yourself," he sniffed. Her laugh bounced off the tile as he dove back in to scrub her shoulders. As immune as he always claimed to be, her good humor sank a few inches into his skin and eased some of the worry lines on his face. "And don't think you're putting that shit back on. Where did you hide your scrubs?"  
  
-  
  
            Rico accosted him right away when he showed up on the fourth floor. She kept pace with him easily as he marched to the office. "Where the hell have you been? I paged you about eighty times. We just got wind of a really big patient - had the meeting with Chief Nanaba already. And _you_ have lost two of your cadets."  
  
            That slowed him down. "What? Why?"  
  
            "Leonhart moved over to Neuro. Didn't seem at all torn up about it. Hitch wanted to go on rotation with the undecideds."  
  
            He couldn't decide which of the potential outcomes of this sentence was worse - getting two more pushed off on him, or being stuck with only horse-face. "So..."  
  
            "So, since you were MIA this morning, and since Eld brought me donuts, you're getting two of his." She made a questioning face at him. "We all found it a little weird that you didn't mention this other Ackerman."  
  
_Fuck everything._ "We're not close."  
  
            "Anyway, I can expect you present for the atherectomy at three, correct?"  
  
            "Yes, ma'am." He saluted her sarcastically, and she gave him an unamused stare. "Watch it, Levi. You're lucky I don't put you on rounds with the rookies for a few hours." By the time she broke away for the OR, he desperately wanted to clean something again.  
  
            Meeting Jaeger immediately made him mentally retract everything he'd said about Kirstein. When he stepped into the cardio office, the boy immediately got so close he could see his breakfast in his teeth. "Doctor Ackerman, sir!", he all but shouted. "It's an honor to finally meet you, sir!"  
  
            Levi leaned silently around him to look at the other two. Kirstein looked more than happy to let Jaeger get himself killed; Mikasa looked like she'd wasted several years of her life trying to prevent these moments. Levi took a measured breath before making eye contact with the idiot. "Take three steps back," he said. Jaeger seemed to comply without consciously processing. At least he knew how to follow orders. Levi resumed his walk to his desk, concluding, "Now maintain that distance from here on out."  
  
            The first thing he noticed was that the coffee on his desk was not from Stohess. In fact, it was in a proper mug, and still steaming at half past noon. He frowned at Kirstein. "Where did this come from?" The kid looked like he'd forgotten about it, distracted as he was by Mikasa. "Oh - that blond guy brought it just before you got here. I think he's in administration, right?"  
  
            "...Yeah." His lingering irritation with the donor stopped him from outright inhaling it, but the smell made his taste buds cry for joy. He picked it up and turned back to his interns, focusing on the familiar weight and warmth to keep his nerves from winding back up. No denying it was better than Xanax. "Okay, kiddos, here's the deal."  
  
-  
  
            Sunset had begun soaking the sky in vibrant hues when he sank into a chair and punched Smith's extension in on a desk phone. The cardio office was quiet; most of the staff were huddled around their dinners, whether here with their colleagues or home with their families. The hospital felt strange at this hour - equal parts comfortable and lonely. He half-expected Blondie to have gone for the day, but of course he picked up after the second ring. "This is Smith."  
  
            "You know I was kidding about the coffee, right?"  
  
            He could easily picture his self-satisfied smile. "I do," Erwin answered. "How's it going down there?"  
  
            Levi meant to give him a status report like a briefing. However, the gentle tone in the other man's question goaded him to admit his trouble. Though the impulse set off alarm bells immediately, he was just tired enough to ignore his misgivings. "They're not bad kids," he mused, curling the phone cord around his finger. "They're fucking obnoxious, and they think they know everything. But they mean well. I just don't think I can keep this up. I don't know how the others do it all the time." It felt so easy, pinpointing what normally would exist only as a vague concept in his head. He pinched his tongue between his teeth, suddenly regretting his transparency. However, Erwin's reply held no judgement - his tone was calm and unassuming. "Not everyone is comfortable leading others. I'm sure you're not the only one in surgery who feels that way. You might try speaking to the rest."  
  
            "They have plenty to handle without me bitching at them. I'll pass."  
  
            "I doubt you'd burden them as much as you think. Support is a part of friendship."  
  
_We've got a long way to go before we get there._ "Whatever. I wouldn't say we're friends." He shifted in his chair, watching the sky burn violent pink. "Anyway, Micro's busier than I've seen them in three years. Hange's over the moon. What's administration expecting them to turn out?"  
  
            Thankfully, Erwin didn't linger on the subject he'd abandoned. "Profits, of course," he said. "But I think it'll be easy to keep the more impatient ones at bay. Her flagship project will take at least a year to deliver viable vaccines, but they have plenty of other work lined up in the meantime. Of course, these upcoming fundraisers will be the time for her to get as much out of the donor pool as she can." The line crackled as he conceded, "She'll need more than the technical summary, of course."  
  
            "She only speaks technical," Levi said, the side of his mouth twitching. "You'd better invite Moblit, too. He's used to translating for her."  
  
            "I'll consider it," Erwin chuckled. He was quiet for another moment, then added, "Have you thought about leading Wantanabe's procedure?"  
  
_Oh. Right._ It had left his head the minute they'd stopped talking about it. "Look," he said, "it's better if I don't. In fact, I probably won't be there at all."  
  
            "Why do you say that?"  
  
            Levi felt the familiar heavy sensation prod the base of his skull. But again, where he would usually clam up, this time the words came easy. "I don't like cops. If something happened, I might hesitate."  
  
            The silence on the other end was just a millisecond longer than normal. "I see." _No, you don't, you big rich bastard._ "I would only push the matter because of the attention it will be getting. The commissioner is the type to always expect the very best."  
  
            "I hope you're not insinuating something here."  
  
            "Only looking at statistics. And the opinion of your peers."  
  
            "Bullshit," Levi protested. Erwin wisely chose not to argue. "I'll leave it up to Chief Nanaba, then. It will be at least a month before it happens, so if you change your mind..." He trailed off, and Levi huffed derisively. "I won't." A plane appeared at the top of the window, a tiny dot in the expanse of the sky. "I just wanted to say thanks for the coffee."  
  
            "My pleasure."  
  
            Levi lingered, the phone warm against his cheek. Finally he said, "If it would really look better for me to do it, I'll do it."  
  
            Erwin only paused for a moment. "I've already made you uncomfortable enough. Don't worry about it."  
  
            Tension Levi hadn't noticed loosened in his neck. He breathed out, then said quietly, "Thanks, Erwin."  
  
-  
  
            His neighbors were having a party that night, and he bore the racket for about five minutes after getting home before walking back out the door. He meant to just have a quiet drink somewhere, but the woman that sat next to him in the bar asked him if he was meeting someone. She had a smattering of freckles and an easy smile, and it took all of thirty minutes to wind up in the back seat of her car with his tongue in her mouth. She squeezed his waist with stocking-clad knees, the sensation making his spine tingle. He pushed up her skirt, and was making quick work of his belt when his phone went off, discarded on the seat next to him.  
  
            He couldn't help glancing at it. _Reiss OR_ stared accusingly at him on the display. He swore and mumbled an apology to the woman, and she watched him answer with disappointed eyes.  
  
            "Levi, it's Rico. Schultz's op from today just went into cardiac arrest. We're taking him to surgery now - Schultz is on his way, but we need one more."  
  
            When he looked back at the woman, she was a stranger once again. "I'll be there in ten," he said.  
  
-  
  
            He woke up the next morning with his face mashed against a desk. There was another cup of fancy coffee three inches from his nose, and someone was shaking his shoulder. He made a noise that could have been mistaken for an animal.  
  
            "Levi."  
  
            Mikasa raised an eyebrow at him when he straightened up. Everything that wasn't insanely sore was stiff as a board He looked around the now-sunny office, bewildered. "What time is it?"  
  
            "A little past ten. Doctor Brzenska says you should get some sleep on a real bed before you start up again."  
  
            He dimly realized she was holding something out to him, and stared at it until he could process it as concealer. Her face didn't change when he looked back up in confusion. "You're lucky we're the same shade. You're covered in hickeys."  
  
            The coffee was lukewarm, but he drank it anyway.


	6. Man, Be Cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Down in Mexico](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kahp_kmOFzQ) by The Coasters.
> 
> I've made minor edits to the previous chapters, mainly shifting background characters around and fixing factual errors. Turns out medical practices are way hard to find information about if you're not a) a doctor or b) brave enough to ask a doctor questions for the sake of a porn-vehicle fanfic.

            January passed somewhere between snowstorms. Between a steady caseload and keeping en eye on the interns, Levi locked himself in with his work for the better part of three weeks. He would have forgotten about the first fundraiser altogether if Nanaba hadn't mentioned it. She seemed to share the same grudging attitude towards it that everyone did, at least in their department. Administration, on the other hand, appeared more than happy for a chance to show off. Who knew what Erwin thought of it - Levi had seen him maybe once in three weeks. Irritating as the man was, the lack of his coffee was certainly lamentable.  
  
            The night of the gala came with a surprisingly light flurry, which meant most of the bourgeois on the guest list would hopefully show up. Hange picked him up dressed in something meant for the Thin White Duke. He had just barely forced himself to put on a tie; then again, he didn't have to get up and whore himself out on stage. She was so nervous she was almost buzzing. He let her chatter all the way to the hospital, answering her less-rhetorical questions with a dozen variations on 'you'll be fine'. Her anxiety was grating, but he didn't blame her; at some point or another they had all been put at the mercy of a speech. He listened to her vent without complaint and watched the city pass by, bright and busy despite the frost.  
  
            Reiss was probably the busiest place of all, at least for tonight. Servers jumped them the minute they stepped into the event hall; the place was packed fore to aft with hospital staff and walking checkbooks. It did look nice, Levi had to admit. Flowers graced the tables and the wall fixtures, and the lights cast the place in warm gold. Hange didn't seem to notice the atmosphere. She curled her fingers in the hem of Levi's sleeve and leaned down to his ear, voice raised over the din of the room. "Moblit said he'd meet me by the bar, but how the hell am I supposed to find it? This is like a cattle drive."  
  
            "You've been to a cattle drive?", he answered, arching his eyebrow. She blinked at him, then broke into a sheepish smile. Levi nodded towards the far side of the room. "Bar's over there. The trick is to get just drunk enough." On cue, the people in their line of sight parted, and Hange's relieved grin widened as Berner's familiar chestnut head poked out of the crowd. She let go of his sleeve and clapped him on the shoulder. "Okay, I'm gonna go get my shit in order. Maybe beg him to do this one more time. Have fun schmoozing."  
  
            "Wait-"  
  
            Before he could ask her where the hell he was supposed to start, she had danced off, and the masses had closed in around him. Levi cursed under his breath, immediately stiffening. Even one familiar face made the chaos bearable; without it, the backs turned to him suddenly felt hostile. He made himself take a deep breath before all the stimuli could overwhelm him. _Nanaba. Start with Nanaba. And take your own advice._  
  
            The latter was much easier than the former. He used the waiters carrying trays of champagne to chart a course across the room. However, it was impossible to see over the crowd, and most of the people in his path were completely oblivious to him until he actively forced his way through them. Short or not, there was no way he could track her down just by wandering around with his eyes open, and he gave up after less than ten minutes. Of course, now he had a significant amount of alcohol working its way through his system, and finding his way back to Hange would be just as difficult. He grimaced, half-hoping a scowl would keep away any potential conversationalists. At this point, just finding a wall to lean against would be preferable-  
  
            A laugh wormed its way to his ears, strange and familiar at the same time. At least stupidly-tall Erwin was easy to pick out. He was only a few yards away, chatting with a group of three or four. Levi craned his neck to get a look at the people he was talking to. The two facing him were elderly, and he didn't recognize them. Dok was turned in profile, his smile obviously glued-on over complete disinterest. A woman in a sleek backless gown stood between him and Smith. As Levi debated heading over, the tall          man looked to the side. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but _damn_ if he didn't look like he belonged in an Arrow Collar ad. Levi immediately felt his cheeks warm at the thought. _What the fuck? Don't be weird._ Just to make sure the unwelcome idea was gone, he grabbed another flute of champagne on his way over. No matter how much he hated these circle-jerks, at least the drinks were on point.  
  
            Erwin's broad back stayed turned towards him on approach, and he felt a mild sense of vindication at being the one startling him for once. He waited to touch his elbow until he could slot himself neatly into the circle. The rest of the group gave him confused looks, but Smith's surprised expression quickly turned to pleasure, and Dok relaxed as well after a moment. "Thank god I finally tracked down somebody I recognize," Levi huffed over his drink. "You forget how many people it takes to run a hospital until you come to these things." Erwin looked back to the others with a smile. Levi felt a light touch at the small of his back, but his soothed nerves didn't react in time, and the tall man had already started speaking. "This is Doctor Levi Ackerman - he's one of the heart surgeons here. Levi, this is Mister and Misses Stratford, of Stratford Engineering." The elderly woman smiled at him, and her husband stepped forward to shake his hand with a nasal "How do you do". Levi managed not to look too grim as he acquiesced. Any snide remarks about them stayed locked securely in his head.  
  
            "And this is Nile's wife, Marie."

            Erwin leaned back slightly to allow a clear view. The woman barely moved, aside from a calm smile and a nodded "hello". Levi had to work much harder that time not be obvious in his stare. Two ropey scars wound from her left ear to the center of her scalp, disappearing under her hair. Her left pupil was blown out, making the eye look much darker than the other. _Huh._  
  
            "Doctor Ackerman has an excellent record with us. We're quite lucky to have him."  
  
            He wanted to tell Erwin to fuck off, but the Stratfords were looking at him like they expected him to comment. Levi shrugged. "I'm lucky to be on a good team. Everyone works extremely hard." The husband smiled in a way made his skin prickle. "If only all doctors were so modest," he said. "Still, you shouldn't miss an opportunity to brag, young man. I hear it's very competitive out there nowadays."  
  
_Like you'd fucking know._ Erwin spared him from answering with another laugh like before. Levi glanced up to see his eyes never leaving Stratford, and realized with some surprise that it was complete bullshit. Fucker knew how to be convincing, that was for sure. "Our staff are very close," Nile cut in, his smile looking closer to constipated. "You'd be hard-pressed to get them to compete with each other." The old woman nodded knowingly. "Yes, yes, teamwork is very important."  
  
            A tug on Levi's arm spared him from further agony; when he looked around, Petra was close behind him. "Hi," she said, eyes flitting nervously to the rest of the circle. "Can I borrow you?"  
  
            "Miss Ral," Erwin commented to the others. "One of our anesthesiologists." Levi looked back over, long enough to see that the engineers didn't give a shit, and curtly said, "Excuse me." She hooked her arm over his to steer him away; the light weight helped his buzzed brain keep track of where his body was going. As soon as they were out of earshot, he sighed, "My hero. What are you doing here?"  
  
            She grinned at the praise. "My dad. Big investor, remember? I'm his plus-one."  
  
            "Oh." Her dress was swishy and demure, just on the pink side of white. "You look nice," Levi fumbled, and immediately racked his brain for a differently subject as a blush bloomed in her cheeks. "Uh - have you seen Nanaba?"  
  
            "She was with Hannes and Brzenska a few minutes ago," she answered, still smiling. "I think the begging's starting on the hour. Do you have to make a speech?"  
  
            "No, thank god. Just mingle with the upper crust. Not sure which one I'd prefer."  
  
            He was just about to suggest they find Hange when he realized she'd led him to the dance floor. The band was playing something with a meandering tempo, and the thirty-or-so couples on the floor chatted and laughed as they moved. When he looked back at Petra, she smiled hopefully. "Want to kill a few minutes? I'm only a little drunk, promise."  
  
            He didn't want to lead her on. Then again, he wasn't sure if he was. _Fuck it._ "You'll probably have to carry me, then."  
  
            As it turned out, it was easy to fall into the rhythm with her. On one turn, he caught sight of Erwin and Marie through the crowd. The woman was talking animatedly, and Erwin seemed engrossed in the conversation, a broad smile on his face. On another turn, he was alone, watching them dance. He caught Levi's eye and held it, raising his eyebrows teasingly. Levi nearly flipped him the bird behind Petra's back. Her waist did feel nice under his hands, though - no denying that.  
  
-  
  
            Berner had Hange practically slung over his shoulder on his way out. "I'm calling her a cab," he said when Levi asked. Somehow Smith was close enough to hear, and knew Levi was out of a ride. Levi couldn't find a reason to turn down his offer. He hovered by the door for a while, too drunk to get impatient as the blond said his many goodbyes. Four hours in this chaos, and he still had plenty of charm to go around. _Unbelievable._ Eventually Levi slipped out and ambled towards the hospital exit. The quiet halls felt like a blessing, and the freezing air was welcome after being packed inside with two hundred people all night. He waited with his back to the parking lot, already undoing his tie. "They better be throwing cash at us after this shit," he muttered under his breath, but there was no heat to it. Despite the draining evening, his deadened senses felt oddly comfortable. He decided not to question it.  
  
            Erwin appeared a few minutes later. He was still saying goodbye to people scattered around the lobby, and Levi rolled his eyes. He passed through the double doors and walked up to Levi, but before he said anything, he shut his eyes and sighed. It only lasted a second, but it was like turning off a light - exhaustion flashed across his features in full force. Levi blinked, taken off-guard. However, before he could say anything, the light came back on. Erwin's eyes snapped back open and he straightened up with a smile. "Alright. Shall we?"  
  
            "...Yeah, sure."  
  
            They didn't speak at first; Erwin seemed content to listen to the gentle hum of the road. Levi couldn't decide if his first question was weird, so he texted it to Hange instead. _Smith + Mike??_ However, she couldn't answer the next one. He cleared his throat to weaken the silence before breaking it. "So, not to be a dick, but what's the deal with Marie?" His wording could have been more delicate, but Erwin picked the intent out of it pretty quickly. He kept his eyes on the road as he answered, "She was assaulted a few years ago."  The response was oddly clipped. Levi hummed his understanding, unable to think of an answer that wouldn't sound stupid. Silence settled again, but it felt awkward this time, and Erwin seemed to think so too. "You seemed to do well enough tonight," he said. "I didn't expect you to be one for dancing." Levi couldn't help an embarrassed grimace. "Oh, fuck off."  
  
            "I have a hard time picturing you with someone so sweet-"  
  
            "You won't be able to picture anything with no eyes, Smith."  
  
            They were both smiling now. Levi hid his mouth in his hand, feeling the champagne-induced heat radiating from his cheeks. "She's a friend. Not many people take that risk with me, so I tend to indulge them."  
  
            "I've noticed."  
  
            Still, the humor drained quickly from Erwin's face. When Levi chanced a look at him he was still smiling faintly, but the troubled look had crept back into his eyes. He was tense, too, Levi realized. The delicate snowfall couldn't overcome the salt dusted on the roads, but still his knuckles were white against the steering wheel. _And he's never this easy to read._ It seemed like he didn't have the energy for a facade. Normally Levi would have let it alone, but the alcohol made him bold. "Did something go ass-up?", he asked, frowning. "Seemed like everybody did fine. You know, aside from Shadis nearly fainting, and Woerman blowing everyone’s ears out.”  
  
            Erwin didn't answer at first. Then he sighed. "Is it obvious?"  
  
            "You look like a sixteen-year-old in a road test." He folded his arms. “I’m sober enough to drive, if you’re not.”  
  
            "No, no." They stopped at an empty red light. Erwin looked at the street ahead for a while before he spoke. When he did, Levi was unprepared for how completely his voice was devoid of pretense. "I was in a car accident in January. My injuries haven't taken kindly to how active I've been lately. I'm a bit, ah, uncomfortable."  
  
            "...What?" The light turned green. "How serious are these injuries?"  
  
            "I nearly lost my right arm." It rested at his side, completely unassuming. "The rest was mostly muscular. Hyperextension, some pulls and tears. The other car fared much better, thankfully."  
  
            Levi gaped at him. The bastard didn't look back. "So, when you were on vacation-"  
  
            "I was out of town already, so it was easy to extend my leave a few days."  
  
            "A few days? You should have been gone a month, at least! What the hell did you come back for?"  
  
            "I'm touched by your concern," Erwin answered, smiling slightly. Levi wanted to punch him. "It's not concern, dumbass," he retorted. "It's common fucking sense." The blond shrugged. "I couldn't take time without risking my position. There are quite a few people in Reiss who would like to get rid of me."  
  
            "So what? If you're risking your health for the sake of this place, you're being an idiot."  
  
            They pulled into street parking, Levi's building looming up from the sidewalk. Erwin didn't answer immediately, and Levi started to think he had closed the conversation. He didn't expect him to make eye contact, and he certainly couldn't look away. Erwin smiled, but those blue eyes held him without mercy. "I chose Reiss for a reason," he said. "Something I believe you'll understand." Levi bristled, but he ignored his hostility. "You went to school across the canal, didn't you?"  
  
            " _High_ school. You read my file?"  
  
            "It's not a crime."  
  
            "Just fucking creepy and an invasion of privacy."  
  
            Erwin refused to engage. "You know what it's like to live over there. It's the poorest part of the city. Those people can barely feed themselves, let alone afford care when they get sick. And the next hospital over is an hour away." He looked back to the road, and Levi shook himself out of his trance. "Of course I know it's a shithole," he snapped. "I lived there for seventeen years. Do _you_ know what it's like is the better question."  
  
            "So you understand why Reiss is important. Not just the hospital itself, but the clinics we fund, the outreach programs..." He waved his hand in a sweeping gesture. "It's a constant tug of war between the people who think those matter and the people who don't. The people who do can't afford to lose numbers."  
  
            Levi opened his mouth, then closed it. His counterpoints were all hiding behind cover. "How noble of you," he muttered lamely.  
  
            "That's one way to put it."  
  
_What were we-_ Oh, right. "It still just sounds like an excuse to work yourself to death," he insisted. Erwin frowned slightly. "I can trade my health for the health of thousands. Doesn't that make sense?"  
  
            "Yeah, in theory. In practice, those people don't give a shit if you die for them. The majority of them will never even walk into those clinics, just because they're used to not having them." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You know what - don't make it about the good of humanity, or whatever the fuck you're getting at. The reality is, you're in severe pain that could cause permanent damage because you're obsessing over your work. I should be saying that about Hange, not you."  
  
            Erwin's expression had lost its fire, and he looked at his hand for a few seconds. "You may be right," he said at last. "I _am_ right," Levi huffed, which made the blond smile again. "I shouldn't have pushed all that on you. You've heard enough speeches tonight already." He glanced outside at the snow. "Maybe I'll see you on Monday."

            Levi frowned. "If you feel like shit, you should come up before you keep driving." He didn’t realize it sounded like a proposition until Erwin quirked an eyebrow. "To get some sleep. On my couch, I mean, Jesus."

            "I'll be alright. Thank you, though." He looked away, still smiling. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you earlier, too. Events like tonight get pretty claustrophobic without someone to talk to.”

            “I did fine without a chaperone, thanks. Besides, standing next to you made me look like a homeless person. Wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”  
  
            He had the door half-open when Erwin answered, “You look very nice.” Levi left the car as gracefully as he could, which wasn't very. He avoided tripping, at least. He was neither sober enough to be creeped out nor drunk enough to fire back; his goodnight was barely coherent as it stood. The engine revved behind him as he hammered his code into the lock, and he looked back to watch the car glide away, sending it off with a befuddled frown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO WE GOT A PARTY ERRYBODY GOTTA WRITE A PARTY. Phew this was a long one, sorry y'all. Also I'm trying to have a one-chapter buffer, if that makes sense - so 7's done right now, but I'll finish 8 before I publish it, that kind of thing. Updates will be more spaced out now since I've published the chunk I did all at once.
> 
> HOW ABOUT THAT CHAPTER 73 HUH HAHA HA H A I feel unwell


	7. But I Can't Help At All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Help You by Trampled by Turtles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDR2HML8DJ8)

            He fully intended to leave it alone. Doctor instincts were not going to win this time. Except when he woke up the next morning, he had a series of new messages from Hange.  
  
_no wau hoezay_  
__  
LOL I forgot about this  
  
            y, u interested? Big blond dudes do it for u?  
  
            Dont b like that :( no, they r just bffs. Screwed a bit in college, but everyone did (almost)  
  
            He told himself on Monday that he wouldn't waste his time. People who chose to run themselves into the ground weren't his problem. He kept telling himself that into the afternoon, and on his break, as he stepped off the elevator on the second floor. He was just there to get a look at Wantanabe. The commissioner's first pre-surgery appointment was today, and word had circulated that he wanted a tour of the place, the pompous ass. As of five minutes ago, the grapevine pegged him on the extended-stay hall, poking around for a room up to his standards. That's what Levi traipsed through to see. It just so happened that the physical therapy offices were directly adjacent. That Mike was leaned up against the nurse's station, munching on a Twinkie, was a crazy coincidence.   
  
            But then, since the universe lined things up so perfectly, it obviously wanted him to pursue it. Right? Right.  
  
            Mike didn't look at all surprised to see him. Or happy, or anything, really; his face was a model of neutrality. He did hold the other half of his snack out, though. "Hey, Levi. Twinkie?"  
  
            How he managed to be so in shape was anyone’s guess. Levi eyed his arm – offensively muscular – then waved it away, sneering. "You know how bad that shit is for you, right?" Mike shrugged and popped it into his mouth. "Suit yourself. If you're looking for the celebrity patient, Lynne just said he's on his way back to your floor. Seems extended passed his inspection."  
  
            "Don't you have work to do, instead of sitting here eating junk and tracking that guy?"  
  
            "Not really." He did look the tiniest bit smug now. "Quiet day. Pretty relaxing, actually."  
  
            "Go fuck yourself. Come here."  
  
            To Levi's relief, he followed without question. It probably wasn't hard to intuit that something was going on, going from the hurried edge to his movements. The closest empty space was a storage closet off the far wall; Levi turned in the doorway to tensely shepherd him in. The imposing man seemed more amused than anything, making curious eye contact as he sauntered inside. As Levi shut the door with a snap, he leaned up against a shelf, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Okay, what’s up?"  
  
            Levi looked at him and promptly realized he hadn't thought this far ahead. If these two were that close, it wasn't likely Mike would take kindly to this, was it? How would he react? Hard to guess, as they had met exactly once. _Well, this was stupid._ Walking back out without another word was ill-advised. Levi tried to maintain his severe expression, though a cringe was fighting to take over. _I came this far._ "Do you know about Erwin?", he pushed out.  
  
            Bracing to be intimidated into silence didn't do any good; Mike just stood there. His entertained air did fade, at least. "His existence, you mean?"  
  
            Another time, he might have tried hitting him. "I mean why he really took that vacation."  
  
            "Mmm. Yeah. I'm doing his therapy. Why?"  
  
            Levi stared at him. "What do you mean, _why_? Why didn't you stop him from coming back?"  
  
            "If Erwin wants to do something, you're not talking him out of it. I gave up trying a long time ago. Best I can do is my job - make him do his exercises and tell him not to strain his injuries." He shrugged, but his look at Levi was suddenly one of interest. "Why do _you_ care?"  
  
            "I-" Levi spluttered, but reined himself back in. "I'm a doctor, of course I get pissed when people intentionally sabotage themselves. And he's not gonna do any good in administration if he's crippled from his own stupidity."  
  
            Mike did not look convinced. "Right. I'm sure he'll appreciate your concern."  
  
            "You of all people should be able to do _something_. At least make him cut down his hours."  
  
            "Tried." Levi narrowed his eyes. Mike wasn't the least bit intimidated. "Like I said. It's like talking to a brick wall. Besides, what with Hange's situation, do you really want to take him out of the game?"  
  
            "That's irrelevant," he bristled. "Micro's doing fine."  
  
            "Sure, you say that now. What’s their average without incident? A week? When she inevitably gives Shadis a heart attack, Erwin’ll be the only thing between her and the firing squad.“ Levi didn’t say anything that time, just glared, indignant. “Well, have fun trying to stop him," Mike continued. "You'd be better off tying him to a chair somewhere." He slipped around Levi to the door and held it open for him. "Some fucking friend you are," Levi huffed, and pushed past with all the fire he could manage.  
  
            A clump of interns hustled by just as he marched out, giving him curious looks. Mike's voice was unexpected, and feather-light. "Bring condoms next time, darling."  
  
            "Next time I see you, I'm circumcising you with the dullest scalpel I can find."  
  
-  
  
            He skipped the fourth floor and summoned his interns to the OR theater. People were bustling around downstairs, setting up for the upcoming valve replacement (Alexei Pearson, 48), and a few kids were already trickling in, notepads in hand. Most of them gave him looks like rabbits just noticing a coyote. Of course, as soon as Jaeger trotted up and saw him, he sprung to full attention, expression nearly manic. "Sir!" Mikasa followed much more quietly. They really were inseparable; he wondered idly if the kid even noticed her orbiting him. He leaned up against the door and nodded at them. "On time, for once. Bring your telescope?"  
  
            Eren's eyebrows shot up. "I apologize, sir-"  
  
            "Relax, it was a joke." _Why do I bother._ "This procedure's delicate - there'll be a lot you can't make out from up here. That doesn't mean you shouldn't pay close attention, though. Listening will serve you well. Whatever we're saying will inform you on what's going on." His phone buzzed in his pocket, and when he got a look at the display, he frowned. _Cardio Office_ blinked up at him. “Come with questions after," he concluded, and headed for the stairs, answering the call on his way. "Ackerman."  
  
            "Where are you?" Rico, sounding exasperated. "Prepping for Pearson," he answered, measuring his tone. "Didn't I tell you I don't want Wantanabe?"  
  
            "No, you didn't. Why not?"  
  
            "Do I need a reason?" She sounded annoyed, and it annoyed him in turn. "Give it to one of the others. I'm sure they'll lose their minds." He shouldered his way into the prep room. Kirstein was staring into the sink like it could talk, and jumped a foot at the noise. Levi ignored his hurried greeting. "Look," Rico said, "any other time I'd be fine with that. But, uh - well, he somehow got wind of your reputation, and now he's requesting you specifically."  
  
            Levi froze with his hand on the glove box. "What?" It sounded completely ridiculous. He bit the inside of his cheek. "Why does everyone have this idea that I'm the difference between life and death?"  
  
            "Your track record's spotless," she sighed. "Of course people get weird ideas. Anyway, he only just called about it this morning, but Chief Nanaba expected to speak to us about it at this meeting."  
  
            "Is she there?"  
  
            "Yeah."  
  
            "Put her on."  
  
            He could hear the phone being passed over, then the chief of surgery's voice rang tinny in his ear. "What's the deal?"  
  
            "Tell him someone relatively worse than me doesn't mean a bad surgeon. I'm not taking it. I have enough going on as it is."  
  
            "Levi..."  
  
            "Why is this such a problem?", he answered, exasperation flaring. Kirstein was watching him now, trying without success to be discreet. He could picture Nanaba pinching the bridge of her nose. "He's friendly with people in administration," she muttered. "They think they can wrangle a big donation out of the RPU if they spoil him enough. If you keep this up, the numbers guys are gonna crawl up all our asses about it."  
  
            "Fuck's sake," he exhaled. The clock over the OR door read fifteen till they had to start. "Look, I have to prep. I'll call you back later." She started to say something else, likely a warning, but he hung up before she could add another complication. His shoulders felt much stiffer now than when he picked up. At this rate, the surgery would be in March, too. As if he needed another reason to bolt.  
  
            "Everything okay, Doctor Ackerman?"  
  
            He took a breath. "For the next hour, yes." Kirstein looked doubtful, twisting the strap of his mask between his fingers. Levi fisted his hands, feeling his knuckles crack, then dropped his phone in the bin and cut the sink on. The pinpricks of worry starting at the back of his neck would have to wait.  
  
-  
  
            He'd mastered the ability to wipe everything else out of his head during surgery. It was crucial, and required a lot of discipline. He wasn't thinking about the commissioner as he sliced and stitched. As focused as he was, though, idle thoughts occasionally floated in. Usually they vanished as quickly as they came. This, however, lingered. Oddly enough, he must have been thinking about Erwin. As alarming as that was, the idea that came of it nearly made him snap his fingers (until he remembered they were knuckle-deep in a chest cavity). Still, the ray of hope buoyed his gray mood, and his hands started to move faster, albeit imperceptibly. _Can't wait for him to call in all these favors._  
  
            It took barely an hour to finish the replacement. He scrubbed out quickly, his comments to Kirstein clipped. "Tell the other two I'll be up in twenty minutes. Brag while I'm gone." True to infuriating form, Erwin refused to pick up, so after three attempts Levi slunk down to the basement. Facing his attending or the chief before enacting his plan would only result in disaster; besides that, Hange would be happy to bear his complaining, unlike the rest of the staff. Of course, the smell of burning blood that worsened on approach cast doubt on her availability. A few techs from other labs were scattered outside the door, either there to complain or enjoy the spectacle. Her interns were there too; Levi went for the one that looked the least alarmed. The gangly blond looked like he wasn't used to being addressed, and started when Levi barked, "Oi. Where is she?" He clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides, casting nervous sidelong glances at the open door. There weren't any flames, at least. "Still inside. Doctor Berner's trying to get her out, but..." His expression begged for some reassurance that everything would be alright. Levi resumed ignoring him and poked his head inside, calling, "Hey, Frankenstein!"  
  
            The northwest corner of the lab appeared to have weathered a minor explosion. Moblit was hunched over by a toppled chair, clutching a scorched clipboard like a life raft. He turned his head to Levi, his face foretelling a nervous breakdown. "Nobody's dead - oh, it's you. Help."  
  
            He spotted Hange a second later, as she threw her arms up triumphantly. A toddler-sized pool of blood was oozing closer to her feet by the second, with several shreds of storage bags drifting on it like little icebergs. "It's all still reading normal! No deterioration!" She clapped Moblit on the back, oblivious to him nearly collapsing. "We did it!"  
  
            "We can't _use_ this!"  
  
            Hange noticed Levi just as his phone went off. He backed off as she stalked towards him, waving his arms. "No, no, you keep having fun. I don't want any part of this." Her manic glee didn't fade, and he hurried to put a few interns between them for good measure. The tiny blond let out a squeak of panic behind him as he marched off with the phone at his ear. "Erwin, you there?"  
  
            "Levi? Good afternoon."  
  
            He remembered with sudden clarity that he'd very aggressively confronted Mike less than four hours ago. Truly amazing, what the brain occasionally neglected to mention. _No way he didn't tell him._ His conviction slammed on the brakes, and it took a minute to recall his original purpose. "I need to ask you a favor," he finally said.  
  
            "Oh?" No way to tell if his tone was infuriatingly smug, or just the same as usual. Levi cleared his throat. "Yeah. Um. The commissioner." He lowered his voice, though the hall looked empty. "Have you met with him, or is that not your deal?"  
  
            "I have, briefly. He knows James Nelson and Richard Saunders pretty well, so they've been in contact with him primarily. Why?"  
  
            "Well - somehow or another he got wind of me, and now he's insisting I do his surgery with Brzenska."  
  
            There were a few seconds of silence. "That causes some problems," Erwin said slowly. Levi leaned heavier against the wall and fiddled with his hem. "Yeah. Can you try and talk him out of it? I know I'm not exactly...giving you much reason to, but..."  
  
            Erwin's reply was prompt and calm. "I trust your judgement, Levi. I'll see what I can do."  
  
            "Okay-"  
  
            "I have to ask you for something in return, though."  
  
            "...What?"  
  
            He had no grounds to refuse, he knew. Still, the immediate flashback to the clinic made him wince. No doubt there was all kinds of dirty work that needed doing-  
  
            “Please refrain from intimidating Mike in the future. He’s very sensitive.”

 _Oh my god._ “Oh my god,” he said. “Yeah, totally. What a pushover.” He could feel Erwin’s grin through the line, but before he could respond, someone started screaming at Hange's end of the hall. The phone buzzed against his ear a second later. _Horse-Face: mr. pearson is awake._ Two reasons to get off this floor were more than enough – he started power-walking towards the stairwell.  
  
            “What was that?”

            “I got a text.”

            “Not _that_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RPU = Retired Policemen's Union. I will attempt to hit every bullet on that [Mike headcanon list](http://julie-blue.tumblr.com/post/129449129872/imagine) before this is over.


	8. My Teeth Will Only Cut Your Lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from [Tongues and Teeth by The Crane Wives](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yujnsm9hydY)

            Sleep deposited Levi unceremoniously back in the living world. His sense of touch was the first thing to come back online - someone was nudging his shoulder. His brain struggled to reboot. For a second he thought he was in his own bed, but the presence of another person, along with the stiffness in his back, reminded him otherwise. Hange's office couch - his favorite nap spot. He probably could have passed out again with minimal effort, but the touch was annoyingly persistent, waking up his systems against his will. After a few misses, he finally found his tongue and growled, "No."  
  
            He barely understood the answer as words, but he was aware enough that the overwhelming smell of black coffee started to register. His eyes opened in slivers, and he glared at the pastel-colored blob monopolizing his vision until it sharpened into Smith. Levi immediately felt like a deer spotted in a field. His hair was sticking out in about eight different directions, and he'd probably been snoring - how long had the creep been standing there, anyway? He tried to shrink back further into the couch cushions, muttering, "Go away. 'M busy."  
  
            "I can't believe he didn't rip your face off," Hange said somewhere behind Levi's head. Erwin leaned back a bit, still smiling. He was holding the coffee directly next to Levi's nose, and was probably stupidly pleased with himself that the smell had succeeded. "It's half past nine."  
  
            "Time is a human construct," Levi grumbled. He sat up anyway, unsurprised to find Hange's lab coat sliding off his chest. "And I got here at six. Give me that and I'll consider sparing your life." It smelled beyond heavenly. Erwin obliged, offering up the scratched metal thermos and straightening back to his full height. _Have to figure out where he gets this,_ Levi thought as he inhaled. The caffeine surge hit him immediately, but the energy for critical thought came with immediate apprehension. "What do you want?", he asked warily, but his suspicion faltered when he looked Smith in the eye. The blond's good humor was absolutely empty - no mistaking it up close. He looked more fragile than anything. Still, he put his hand to his chest and made a mock-affronted face. "Am I not allowed to visit my good friends?"  
  
            Hange snorted behind the stack of books that had materialized on her desk. "You barely even said hello to me, you jerk."  
  
            "Well, consider this an incident board check on your office arrest. Can't have you running amok behind our backs." Shadis had put Hange on cleaning duty as per the board's orders, then confined her to doing paperwork in her office when trying to keep her away from the experiments became physically dangerous. Her punishment could have been much worse, but the breakthrough had been significant, and the damage minimal (psychological trauma notwithstanding). And it was hard to doubt that Mike had been right the other week. Smith straightened his tie in pantomime, giving no indication that he understood Levi's perturbed expression. "Actually, I need to talk to you. And your attendings are probably looking for you. Shall we?"  
  
            _You're not my boss_ was his first thought, but of course he was right, and the odd cloud around him was hard to ignore. Levi stumbled to his feet, still fuzzy at the edges, but curious now. That empty smile would fool someone from far off, but his eyes were tense - pained, perhaps. Even so, he held the door like his usual patronizing self. Levi waved over his shoulder at Hange, who pouted something about her sentence, but Smith soundly ignored her, setting a clipped pace as the door snapped shut.  
  
            Levi expected him to stop outside the lab and explain, but he kept silent all the way to the elevator. His gait was stiff, almost unnatural. Only when he tapped the button did he ask, "How are you?"   
  
            "What? Fine. Why?" Levi stared at him. Erwin didn't look back, focused on the floor display. All of the levity from a few moments ago had faded; in fact, under this more natural light, he looked almost ill. "No reason," he said absently. "That's generally how people greet each other, isn't it?"  
  
            "I-" The elevator doors rumbled open, revealing an empty carriage. Levi tried to collect his confusion as they hustled inside. "You don't have to greet me, you weirdo. You said you needed to talk to me." He peered at Erwin, who blinked. Then, against all logic, he blushed. "Oh, yes. Apologies. I'm afraid I need to ask for a favor."  
  
            "Yeah, what?" Levi should have been perturbed by how easy it was to say, but he shrugged it off, busy watching the color in his cheeks. "Well," he started slowly, leaning against the wall. _On his good arm_ , Levi noticed. "I can imagine this might be uncomfortable. But - long story short, the supervisory board for the hospital's outreach programs is having a budget meeting in two weeks. If I can't convince them otherwise, they'll close the clinics on Cardinal and 49th. I need your help to prevent that."  
  
            "Wh-" _Ding_ , and the doors rumbled open. Levi punched the button for Mike's floor before Erwin could notice. "Nobody else wants to keep them open? How much of a money-sink are they?"  
  
            "The major issue is lack of interest." Erwin sighed. "Barely justification, at least. My case is strong, as long as I can find some help elsewhere." He glanced under his lashes at Levi - theoretically impossible given their height difference, but somehow he managed. "If you'd be willing, I'd like you to speak to the board."  
  
            Levi knew what he was going to say, but hearing it still made him stiffen. Thankfully the cab stopped before he could put his foot in his mouth. Erwin finally twigged where they were when the doors opened on a gaggle of child inpatients. Levi used their influx to force the big man out; he looked back over his shoulder, hopeful denial written all over his face. "What are we doing here?"  
  
            "Take a guess," Levi said, still steering him by an elbow. "You look like you got hit by a bus. You're skipping therapy." Erwin opened his mouth to protest, but Levi squeezed his bad arm for emphasis. He almost felt bad at how the blond grimaced. Almost. "If you thought you could hide pain in a building full of doctors, you're dumber than you look," he muttered. Smith didn't try to object that time.  
  
            Mike was probably as close to pissed as anyone had ever seen him. He herded Erwin into an empty exam room, paying no attention to the shadow trailing behind. Levi wasn't even sure why he followed. Not like he had any work to do for a few hours, and the interns could find something to do on their own. And even if Erwin managed to sweet-talk Mike, it wouldn't work on him. Probably.  
  
            At any rate, it didn't seem like it would work on Mike, either. Levi leaned up against the wall as the mustachioed man loomed over Erwin. For once, Smith looked a little uneasy. "I've been busy," he tried.  
  
            "For two weeks straight. Nobody is that busy. Not even you. Sit." He grasped Erwin's good shoulder and pushed down. His strength was nothing to sneer at; the blond sat down hard on the exam table. Levi's mouth twitched up. As potentially serious as the situation was, seeing Erwin cowed was still immensely satisfying. _You're not so bad after all, Zacharius._  
  
            "Shirt," Mike commanded, folding his arms over his chest. Levi's smirk promptly vanished. He hadn't considered this eventuality; suddenly the room felt much smaller. Erwin stared at Mike, oblivious to the smaller man's rapt attention, but the shaggy man didn't balk, and he resigned himself to unbuttoning. "This is taking a good hour out of my day," he pouted. Mike made a _pshh_ sound between his teeth. "I doubt you'll be going back to work after I see whatever you've done to yourself."  
  
            Levi wasn't sure what he was expecting, but two buttons in, he almost groaned out loud. _Oh, Jesus, you have_ no _right._ He backpedaled for some distraction, but bit his tongue when the button-down slipped from Erwin's shoulders. The appeal of his muscular arms was completely eclipsed by his wounds. The biggest slice curled a few inches under his right armpit, nearly reaching the full circumference of his forearm. The rest were smaller, scattered down to his wrist - abrasions from shattered glass. Levi even picked out cuts on his palm that had somehow gone unnoticed before. The skin wasn't the shiny pink of new scar tissue, but a washed-out lavender color that spread far beyond the stitched areas. Bruises dotted the thickest parts of the limb, where blood was having trouble circulating. It was hard to tell if it looked worse than it was or if Erwin was downplaying it. Mike's response didn't clarify either way; he just sighed deeply, running a broad hand over his eyes.  
  
            Levi spoke first. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." If Erwin looked uneasy in the face of Mike's wrath, he looked flat-out frightened now. "It's not as bad-"  
  
            Mike pressed a thumb into the meat of his bicep, turning his protest into a sharp gasp. "Avoiding me is one thing," he said, voice low. "Did you think it would just go away if you ignored it?" Before the blond could answer, he looked back over his shoulder at Levi. "Can you do me a favor?" The smaller man raised an eyebrow, then both when he held out a billfold. "His keycard's in here somewhere. Run upstairs and tell the secretary he's gone home sick. And grab his stuff. I'm afraid to let him out of my sight."  
  
            Levi hesitated, then spoke over Erwin's spluttering. "You sending him home?" Mike nodded, already turned away again. "He won't go unless I drag him. Soon as I pull some of the tension out of this thing - I'll be done by the time you get back." He split his sentence with a grunt as he folded the arm firmly at the elbow. Levi watched Erwin's face - his eyes were squeezed shut, brows drawn down.  
  
            _I have things to do. It's not like a surgeon can just go running off whenever they feel like it._ Except he already got away with that all the time. "I'll take care of it," he said.  
  
-  
  
            They didn’t speak in the car. Levi cast little sidelong glances at Erwin every few minutes, trying to read him. Mike had dealt with some of the pain, but it seemed exhaustion had slid smoothly into its place. He leaned heavily in his seat, eyes turned out the window. It took about three miles for Levi to abruptly realize he was driving Erwin's _car_ to his _house_ , and to consider jumping out onto the highway. _What am I doing?_ His irritation hadn't fully subsided yet, and his first thought for a distraction was to scold him some more, but he quelled it. The board thing wasn't any more appealing.  
  
            To his surprise, though, Erwin spoke up first. His voice was soft, a little rough. "Do you remember the first time we met?"  
  
            Levi stared. "Are you sure you want to remind me?"

            The blond looked over and met his indignant gaze with one of gentle amusement. "I don't think anyone has ever hated me so much," he said. "And a _lot_ of people have hated me at one point or another."  
  
            "Yeah, I was legitimately plotting to kill you for a week or so. Nostalgic." Levi turned his glare on the traffic in front of them. "Why are you bringing that up? It was ages ago."  
  
            "Just thinking. I'm glad our relationship didn't stay like that."  
  
            Levi squirmed in his seat. A conversation about budget conferences suddenly sounded much more comfortable. "Look, I don't know how much Oxy Mike slipped you, but you do still annoy the hell out of me." He gripped the wheel entirely too hard as he eased into the turnoff. "I wouldn't say that's entirely on me," Erwin teased. "Protest all you want, but you are very invested in my physical wellbeing."   
  
            "Only because-"  
  
            "Like a mother hen."  
  
            "Oh, fuck off." Had he been in the mood, he might have found it funny. Silence stretched again as they pulled into the car park. The apartment complex had entirely too many windows, and it made Levi's skin itch. _Of course it's one of these. Fucking yuppie central._ He pulled into a space and reached for the key.  
  
            "Even if our circumstances are a bit unusual - I'm glad I get to call you a friend."  
  
            Levi looked over sharply. About sixteen different thoughts crossed his mind in the space of five seconds. The only one that made it out was "Why?". His voice sounded small, and he could feel those eyes boring into him - his blush flared to the tips of his ears.  
  
            Erwin shrugged. "Do I need a reason?"  
  
            "Everyone else does. I'm not exactly easy to like."  
  
            "I'm managing." Even as the sound of the engine died, he didn't look away. "You're a very interesting person, you know."  
  
            _Burn this fucking bridge,_ Levi thought. But he didn't want to, and it was probably too late, anyway. He couldn't think of how to respond. Instead he looked over, focusing on one of Erwin's coat buttons, and said, “About the clinic thing-“

            “I am sorry about that. If it makes you feel better, the terror you instilled was very helpful.”

            “Wha-no, you idiot, the appeal thing.”

            “Oh.” Erwin paused, then shrugged. “We can talk about it another time. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a little tired of work right now. I may have burned myself out a bit.”

            The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched, his mood eased by relief. "Shit, can I get that in writing? Let's go. I’m under orders to make sure you know how to sleep.”

            -

            The apartment building was the sort of quiet that only the well-off could afford. Levi didn’t realize how curious he was about Erwin’s apartment until he opened the door. The indulgent corner of his brain predicted either tartan or shag everywhere, but his first glance disappointed him on both. His eyes swept over the place automatically, and his eyebrows twitched downward. What he could see was gray and simple. Realistically, he had expected more clutter, like his office; it barely looked like anyone lived here. _Figures_. His eyes flickered back to Erwin as he crossed the threshold and turned. The big man paused, as if unsure what the next step was. “Would you like to come in? If you want to talk about the appeal-“

            “No, god. Go to _bed_.”

             “Sure you don’t want to send Mike a picture for confirmation?”

            Levi opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a response that wasn’t a flat ‘what’. Erwin smiled and hung his head in mock-defeat. “Kidding. I’ll see you later, Levi.”

            Levi didn’t snap out of it until he closed the door. _You have no idea what you’re getting into, my friend._ Shouting it through the door wasn’t an option, so he settled for muttering “That was fucking weird” to himself as he hurried for the elevator. His apprehension got shoved into a corner. No matter how poor his track record with friends was, he didn’t get the feeling he had a say in it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo we're not dead over here, I warned you guys about sporadic updates. I would draw a little doodle of what's been keeping me busy but it would just be a massive dildo labeled finals. We'll see when the next one goes up, it shouldn't be too long but who knows. :x
> 
> Thanks so much for all your comments! I get anxious about replying nine times out of ten but I promise I read and appreciate them all. And kudos, bookmarks, etc, y'all are great.


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